If money were no object and you could do anything in the world you wanted, what would you do with your life?
Chris asked me that very question after my dad died 3.5 years ago, and the answer was easy: I'd take a ton of art classes, paint all day, and become an artist. He's has been trying to talk me into doing this ever since our conversation, but honestly, I've been afraid.
Finally, I'm doing it. As of June 1st, I'll be an artist full-time.
I can still remember the exact blend of tempura paint and clay that gave my elementary art room it's distinct smell. All through school, art was my favorite class - I lived for the days we had art because I enjoyed the freedom and excitement in creating something. I even considered studying studio art in college, but I didn't because it just "wasn't practical." Not that practicality has ever stopped me from doing anything before... but this time, it did.
So what happened? Well, I think I heard the phrase "starving artist" one too many times, and my love of tacos and fear of starvation forced me into a different career path. I mean, a girl's gotta eat, right? In all seriousness, I was afraid. What if I'm not really that good? What if no one likes my art? What if I fail? What if I don't make any money? What if people talk about me? What if... what if...
I've let negative self-talk and self-doubt hold me back for YEARS, and now I'm taking a GIANT leap of faith to create a life doing something I've dreamed of doing my entire life. I love teaching elementary school and I know I'll miss my sweet students, but I have to do this. Not just for me, but for my girls. I want them to see that at 33 years old, their mother stepped out into the unknown and was brave enough to follow her dreams.
Forgetting failure, focusing on success.
Ignoring negativity, allowing only love.
Leaving behind self-doubt, believing in myself.